Being productive and available at all times, even after work or on vacation, is part of everyday life for many people these days. We know that in the long run, these habits have more negative consequences than one might initially assume. Balance is important, that’s what they say. We even call a Life Alignment session a “Balance”. That’s why in this month’s newsletter I talk to Kristin Norenberg, Life Alignment teacher and advanced practitioner in Norway.
18 years ago Kristin jumped off the carousel and has worked as a coach and therapist since. She has also written a book called “The Balanced Woman”, based on the story of her own journey from the masculine business world to the alternative world: being authentic and whole, listening to our feelings and using our intuition to navigate life’s ups and downs. Her second book is about intuition and living a soul led life: “With your heart as a GPS”.
Maggie: Kristin, why do you think there is an imbalance, especially in the Business world?
This is a huge topic that relates to our being, who we are and who we want to be; how we decide to live our life. Often we go through life based on our own & other’s expectations, until one day we wake up and start to question: Is this all? Is there something more to life? Do I live the life I want and dream about? Is it possible to live my dream or do I limit myself? Do I listen to my feelings/ my “traffic lights” or do I walk on red, or on autopilot, being buried in old behavioural patterns?
These and several other questions I started to ask myself after 25 years in leadership positions. In a world where left-brain qualities were appreciated and my masculine side was dominant.
When using our masculine qualities we are planning and organising, thinking strategy and future, analysing and being logical. There was no space for my feminine qualities like compassion, love, togetherness, intuition, feelings, being in the here and now. As an executive I was doing rather than being; there was no balance between the two. I was running from meeting to meeting, and did not have the time to listen to my feelings. I knew they did not fit in in a male dominated business world.
My experience is that a lot of people live in this way because it is important to fit in. Basically, as human beings we need to be accepted and included in our group to survive. Unconsciously I knew that to be accepted and promoted in competition with my male colleagues I had to behave and think more or less like a man, and suppress my feelings and feminine side. This was also how I was brought up, by a single mother who told me never to trust a man!
Maggie: Does that mean if we equalise our male and female parts, that we then are in balance?
We all have, men and women, our masculine and feminine sides. Some have more of the masculine, while others have more of the feminine. That is very individual, so to live a balanced life in alignment with who we are differs from person to person. But as mentioned, I believe that our feelings and emotions are important “traffic lights” that tell us about our way forward.
Over the years a lot of my clients and course and program participants are female managers and executives living a very stressful life. They have started to doubt whether they are in the right place, or they are burnt out and have severe health issues. What I have experienced is that many of these women have a lot of feminine personality traits, rather than masculine, they are “helpers” that love being close to people, support others and bring people together. Most of them are or have been in work situations where this is not appreciated or possible because of the type of work or workload. They often end up sick and without energy. So it is less about equalising our feminine and masculine sides, but more about listening to our own feelings and intuition to re-establish a connection to ourselves.
DEEP IN THE SOUL, by Kristin Norenberg
Maggie: How does pressure and highly imbalance affect us and our social and global environment?
Pressure and imbalance affect us all in a very different way. Some people get energy from situations that other people will lose their sleep and get severe stress reactions from. Over time stress is very harmful for the body. We go into fight, flight or freeze, produce excessive adrenaline and cortisol and our whole system becomes out of balance.
In the 80s I worked in New York and to get anywhere when driving a car you had to be very aggressive. This habit I brought home to Norway, until a friend reminded me: “If you slow down, smile and let other cars get into the line in front of you the driver will go home and smile to his wife and be kind to his family. If you drive aggressively he will maybe come home and be angry at his children and abusive to his wife.”
A simple example of how my own stress can affect my environment. Thoughts are energy, well everything is energy, so how I behave and what I think will influence my surroundings. If I am out of balance, stressed and not able to be in the moment, there is “nobody home” and my relationship to colleagues, family, friends and nature will suffer. The same will happen to the relationship to others.
Seeing the big picture, if I am balanced in my inner world this will influence my outer world and the whole community. I will live my life in a conscious way and know what will increase and decrease my energy. I had to become 50 years old before I understood that I need a lot of time to myself, to rest and meditate, to be in nature, to be in balance and live consciously – while my husband gets energy from doing 10.000 things. That does not mean that I am more egocentric. I just need a different kind of fuel for my power generator.
In addition I am more sensitive than him. Many of my clients are highly sensitive which means that our senses pick up more signals every second of the day. This could be very exhausting if you are not aware of how to fill up or don’t take time to prioritise yourself.
Maggie: In your opinion, why did our world become so stressful and out of balance?
Stress, pressure and imbalances come from inside us. How we think about a difficult situation, problem, job, relationship, life … Holding presentations or speeches is an easy example. Some people excel in front of an audience while others lose all their energy and actually feel sick.
Why some people react negatively may have many reasons. Thought patterns and belief systems (I am not good/clever/smart/tall/thin/pretty …. enough), expectations from ourselves or other people around us, the society we live in and our culture – everything will influence the way we react to a situation and create imbalances in ourselves.
Belief systems are often formed by experiences in childhood, the way we were brought up and good and bad experiences at school, with family and friends. The result is that our system recognises the situation and picks up the same feelings every time we enter a similar setting, and negative reactions get stronger and stronger. This happens in a tenth of a second and fully unconsciously.
Maggie: This makes a lot of sense. How do you use the modality of Life Alignment to create more balance for you and your clients?
I fell in love with Life Alignment from the day I met Jeff Levin and Philippa Lubbock’s book about Life Alignment 10 years ago. I felt I had found something precious that embraces what is important to me in life. Not only as a system of energy healing and to balance belief systems, stress and traumas from early life, being able to help others to grow and find balance and purpose in life – but also as a way of living and making the world a better place.
Life Alignment as a tool for the individual will help us to get inner balance; that is balance between our masculine and our feminine energy, between our physical, emotional, mental and spiritual body. We will become whole and authentic. This is actually what many of my clients and female course participants say:” I don’t like who I have become. I want to be genuine and authentic, the real me.”
In the balancing processes of Life Alignment our belief systems and old patterns are cleared. Previously I easily entered stress mode – although there was no reason – because that was my default. Through balancing procedures I have learnt to be conscious when old patterns and negative feelings appear, so instead of losing my energy and getting frustrated and even ill I am able to bring myself into alignment again.
I use the system of Life Alignment on individuals, on groups/departments and organisations as a whole. It is fascinating to see how the work environment and people change and become in tune.
Maggie: Absolutely amazing. Looking at the ripple effect of the symptoms of stress, do you have some ideas for us on how to create more balance in our everyday life?
There are many things that you can do to become more aligned and in balance with yourself and your surroundings. Stress management is a dull word, but if you look up how to stimulate your Vagus Nerve, that is a good beginning.
Become conscious of who you are, what makes your heart sing and how to fill up your well. When radiating energy, positive feelings and inner balance your surroundings will notice and change.
And get a balance from Life Alignment practitioners. We all have old patterns and belief systems that hold us back and make it difficult to live the life we really want to and are meant to live.